Defuse

Everyone gets angry sometimes.

Even the people who never seem to get angry. Those are apparently the ones to watch out for.

You don’t have to watch out for me. Except for when I’m wielding a baseball bat. Or am unfed. And you proceed to piss me off.

To be fair, that’s not TOO hard. I get pissed off a lot. Really angry, not so much, but pissed off – sure. And granted..the two ARE very much alike in many of the telltale signs.

Which is why I don’t get people who don’t get me when I’m angry. I’m a simple angry creature. We all know that humans tend to be fight or flight when it comes to fear. I think the same goes for anger, a lot of the time.

There’s people that hide their anger. Seethe inside. Build up that case inside their minds. Are inwardly angry. Those people are scary to me.

Me? I’m outwardly angry. You’ll know I’m angry. My words will show you. My actions will. My expression will. It’s hard to miss. And because it is hard to miss – it should be handled. Quickly and correctly.

Mostly because you don’t turn away from, or ignore a bomb once the fuse is lit. Not a smart move to not address that problem either. Bombs need to be defused. As do I.

And, like bombs, if you know what you’re doing – that’s easy as cutting a simple wire. Say the right thing and explosion avoided. Usually that thing is ‘sorry, I was wrong’. Or ‘I love you’. Or ‘would you like some McNuggets?’.

I wrote a similar blog in a different fashion once, but the concept hasn’t changed for me in forever. When you get me angry – the process is simple:

* Acknowledge

* Defuse

* Feed until soothed

But when you have new people in your life – they might not know such basic things. As you might not know such things about them. An exploration necessary to discover boundaries but not necessarily pleasant. Pleasantly necessary though, because once established good for any future altercation.

I had a friend once who raised their voice at me if I was angry. As if overdominating might sate my anger. Lemme tell ya. Not how that works – I don’t back down and I hold grudges for a lot longer than loves lost.

And I’ve had people who tried reasoning with me when angry. It don’t work. Like telling me to sit still when there’s a wasp around. I ain’t gonna listen to rationality at such moments. Instinct takes over. I’ll just get more pissed.

But the VERY worst is the people who opt for ignoring anger. Who think letting me calm down is a great idea. Who withdraw and let me simmer in whitehot rage. Not. A. Smart. Move. I’m that lit fuse you can’t ignore. I have to be dealt with.

But the reason why I blog about this today – it’s because (angry or not), things like these need to be addressed. Shared. Made visible. Not just by me but by you too. You should let people know about your manual. And they should share theirs.

Because if we all would communicate more clearly about needs like these – I bet we’d all be a lot less angry all the time. Or a lot less long, at least.

So now you know!