I’ve had a couple of workdays in the office this month. HIGHLY EXCEPTIONAL. And thus…sorta special.
I dress up for the office. I do. When I go into work it’s pencil skirts and curvy dresses. High heels and blazers. You dress for the job you want, not the job you have. And I wanna be UP there.
HOWEVER.
This. Means. Being. Uncomfortable.
I was watching this clip of a Kirsten Bell interview and I just realized….we…we are fucked. Because not ONLY do we conform to ridiculous beauty standards…we also exemplify, honor and encourage them.
Corrective underwear…isn’t comfortable. Hell. Even bras aren’t. Ever since corona I’ve come to appreciate the freedom of breathtaking elastic figure ‘correcting’ crap and bras that bite into your sides ALL DAY LONG. And though I admit that, even to my own standards, I do look sloppy – the level of increased comfort is insane.
And I don’t wanna go back.
Because two days in the office taught me that I appreciate breathing freely more than not-having-fleshy-rolls. And that I love not having red skinflares more than I love the extra cupsize of a pushup bra.
But the thing is
My vision of beauty has been so warped. So remodelled. SO shaped and defined by current culture that the thought of leaving the house sans-correction ALSO freaks me out.
There’s no best of both worlds here. We’ve made our world so that there’s no way to be beautiful without being uncomfortable. And no way to be comfortable while looking succesful and professional.
Fml.
Years ago I worked in London – commuting in on the train every day – and it made me realise something. Not only were the girls that worked in the commercial centre (“The City”) impossibly pretty – which opens another can of worms about marketing, bias, sexism, and so on – but that the city girls on the train read magazines that promoted the ideals they strived for. Magazines written by women, for women, with impossible aspirational goals. I often wondered why or how they became caught up in the toxic endless loop.
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Inevitably.
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It made me see magazines like Harpers, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and so on in a completely different (and negative) light. It didn’t help when a documentary aired a couple of years marking an anniversary at Vogue magazine – showcasing the working of the journalists behind the scenes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many entitled, waspish, aloof, vaccuous people in one place. It was astonishing.
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I completely gave up on trying to be like others years ago..lol. I feel if we are ourselves we are much happier. So a flannel shirt and leggings are often my go to, with no bra..lol. I am the only one who can live my life, so why not be happy😊
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Sounds hella comfy…and wise!
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It’s a toxic loop indeed.
I gave up on style over comfort a long time ago, and even wearing the comfiest clothes I can in the daytime I still get changed into my ‘proper comfies’ (braless in pyjamas) as soon as I’m able. Lockdown was a godsend in this department.
I heard on a podcast recently that they make sensory clothes…they’re my next step.
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Sensory clothes?
What would that entail 🤔
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I think it’s like seamless clothing made from natural fabrics without labels, nothing to bother the skin. Have you tried wearing any bamboo clothing? It’s so soft.
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No…I haven’t.
Now I have to though 🤤😱
I loooooove softness!
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Thank you for sharing!.. I have found that if I am not happy with myself, I am probably not going to be happy anywhere else.. so, I going to be me even if I am different… “Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.” (Shannon L. Alder)… 🙂
Until we meet again..
May your troubles be less
Your blessings be more
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
(Irish Saying)
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Lovely quote and much wisdom! Thanks for sharing it!
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One Cure
Naked
Loving All🙃
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🤪
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glad i m a man
who does not
care how i look
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Slightly jealous 🤣
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The result of generations of women being told that our bodies are not good enough. On the flip side, I am dressing for the next position I want, early retirement!
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That IS a great one to dress for, I’d think!
Good on ya!
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I think we are headed in the right direction. The fashion industry is learning that people are increasingly more worried about comfort over style. There are slacks that are actually yoga pants, better bras, memory foam pumps, etc. Personally I love dressing up and looking nice, and if I can be comfortable while I do it, that’s great!
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Yeah – getting the best of both worlds would be awesome! And we ARE definitely moving there…but not yet not yet
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Sounds a bit conformist. Guess you have to be if your goal is to be successful in someone else’s game.
Never lived in a city so no idea how the culture works.
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Haha – very conformist, obviously. Which also makes it easy, since it saves a lot of thinking power. But just not that comfy. Nothing wrong with conforming if it gets me where I want though 😂😇
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“You dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”
so lucky to love what I do and dress in comfy clothes for work.
Ok so I look like a slouch but I clean up fast, thank God!❣️
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That iiiis the best kind of luck, indeed!
And you deserve that happiness for sure!
Slouchy or not 😆
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You got it. I actually stepped it up a notch and it was fun to put some “real” clothes on.
Thanks Zoe❣️
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Hi
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This is quite the paradox, I guess you like many are asking is beauty worth the effort?
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Daily!
(And usually the answer is no…followed by still doing it regardless 😂😂)
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Oh the human brain is such a pain! lol
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And now back to the ‘Good Enough’ post: I’ve never understood why women have to wear all this ridiculously uncomfortable stuff, including blistering backbreaking stiletto’s to be worthy, while men can just slid into the same suit-and-leather-shoes every day and be fine?! Aaaargh……!!!
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I agree, and those things put me off because they cause me mental pain through empathising, and feel false.
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Unfair is the simple answer. The world is still unfair.
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You don’t have to follow the rules :D. Be a pioneer!
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My ‘advise’? Just be YOU: whether it’s the ‘sloppy’ not ‘corrected’ you, or the shaped-up version. YOU decide ‘who’ you want to be. I think, and actually ‘ hope’, that in a way Your comfortable either way. And I think most people and certainly Your friends Will respect Your choice. Beauty is on the inside, remember? 😉
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Remember?
I do…sometimes. The rest of the world just usually gets stuck on ‘outside’ instead 🤐🤪
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“There’s no best of both worlds here”
Ah but there’s only the one world, and the rest is our mental creation. Beauty is as you see it and this is malleable 🙂.
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I think that’s a very unrealistically idealistic way of considering beauty 😉
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It’s my way! It exists, lol. I like women in long sleeves and trousers, flat shoes, no make-up and with personality over looks lol. Basically not giving a fuck. And the rest of the time I live in space 😃
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I don’t mean in a hijab kinda way though 😆
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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I’ll be honest, I felt similar to you. Sick of the beauty standards and how uncomfortable the “pretty things” actually are.
I can’t remember when, but just a couple years ago, I stopped caring. I still do go out of my way to look fabulous… for me. My style is extremely eccentric and vibrant, and I stopped caring if maybe I was a bit “round in the middle” in some outfits. Could I wear an awful ‘tummy squeeze-your guts till your eyes pop out thingamajig’? Yeah, but people are going to judge me anyways…I might as well be comfortable and internally flip them off if I see a look lol
It’s hard at first, to be honest, because of what media has told us… but it’s liberating to put my comfort over society’s standards.
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Eccentric and vibrant sounds AWESOME!
I sometimes feel like I do play it a bit too safe. Just not at your level yet. Eventually!
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I gave up wires a few years ago. And I have started dressing for the job I want, active retirement!
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My boobs are not ready to live wirelessly yet xD too much outfits where they need to stay put for 🙈
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