Double-Planning

Now. Let me start off by saying that I’m generally a very organised person. I am.

There’s lists that I make for everything, and then some just to keep track of the lists – and in my house the locale of pretty much any item is predetermined, or narrowed down to three possible spots.

My work is timeboxed and always executed well before any deadline and punctuality is my middle name (and a reason to passionately dislike people who are not so inclined). Organised.

I remember dating someone with Caribbean roots once. Which, at its very core, is a culture that prides itself at tardiness and easygoing ‘whatever whenever‘ attitudes. Lets just say that that difference led to quite some talks on the subject.

My complaints about his being always-late were met by explanations how my being always-early was actually rude. Because if you show up ten minutes before the appointed meeting time (as any normal punctual person does), at the house of a perpetually late person who’s expecting you to show up at least 15 minutes late….well. That’s a mismatch.

I always get most of the grooming and lastminute tidying done in that window too. I get the annoyance. Anyway, I’m drifting off here. Timeliness wasn’t the main reason for this post. Timemanagement is.

Because lately I’ve found myself confronted with several occasions of double-planning and boy that’s got me worried. You see, when I plan something with someone, I do this with every intention of actually doing that something with that someone. So when I mess up, and plan something where something else has already been planned and discover this too late – that hurts my brain.

I blame the fact that my work and private agenda’s are split, where they used to be in the same app (damn VM Workspace).

And alcohol. Obviously. Because for some reason I always end up planning all kinds of outings and bbqs and meetups when I’m drinking, only to not recall that in the morning since my slightly intoxicated self did not actually put it in the agenda (which with my added memory issues…is a problem).

It’s how I ended up this weekend with a bbq planned on Saturday, before one of the participants tested COVID-positive and it got cancelled – at which point I planned a babysighting at friends in the South followed by a sleepover at another friend because of a virtual Marvelpubquiz. Only to then be informed that the COVID-sufferer had had a false positive and we could still bbq but I’d already replanned. So we rescheduled to next Saturday where I originally had a fun night planned with scrumptious food and fun with other friends that had to be moved a few weeks because of work-things. Still following?

So this Sunday morning I wake in my friends house and am expected at my grandmas house (also down south so two fun birds with one stone) but apparently I’d also planned a Sunday meetup with a teammate that I totally forgot about AND I kinda wanna make it up to the far North to see le boyfriend but am expected to have dinner here at the grandparents (aka…a challenge with the curfew since it’s a 2.5 hour drive up). Plus seeing as I’m spending more days in the North I NEED to swing by home and repack PLUS have a package being delivered tomorrow and softball practice that I obviously won’t be home for if I’m at his place AND IT’S TOO MUCH TO RESHUFFLE INTO A FITTING PLANNING. I hate it.

And though knowing the root causes to an issue is usually the first step in solving it – I am struggling here. Because outside of the agenda and drinking mismatches – most of the issue is caused by something I don’t wanna fix:

There’s more to do in my life, with more fun people…than I actually have time for. Hence…double planning. But how do you fix something that’s not really broken. Damn conundrum.