Todays blog is going to be a short little thing. Unlike the ones you’re used to from me, I wager, seeing as I have this tendency to WAY overstep ‘normal’ blog-lengths (although, all of you reading generally don’t really seem to mind). I can’t help it. I’m a wordy little bitch. And I just have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things.
But as it comes to this topic – I only have one: Why?
Why is it that we as a people are so much more comfortable in the realm of empathy when it comes to pain, failure and loss, than when it comes to happiness, love and success?
Think about it.
We have been programmed to express sympathy to those who are suffering. To those who are unwell. We feel safe sharing our similarities and own experiences when it comes to personal situations that border on the negative – but shy away from sharing congratulations when things are going well for others.
An easy example:
A poem I post about heartbreak will get a boatload of loves. And even more comments. Comments of those who can relate. Of those who went through the same thing, or are going through it right now. Of those who offer wisdom, solutions or just comfort with their words. They’re an invite for interaction. Yet a poem about love. About satisfaction and a sense of peace in life is met with a cold shoulder.
We’re so used to the envy and jealousy that comes with the success reel of others – that we are subconsciously trained NOT to acknowledge successes like these. We wouldn’t want your good fortunes to go to your head, right? And somehow, sharing happiness does not often lead to others sharing theirs. It is met with a silence. A quiet regard. And just a ‘good for you’. Even though it might be an invitation to share your joy. Your rosey moments. Your pride and your conquests.
Why is it that we feel so strong together in our wallowing. Yet can’t be one when it comes to rejoicing?
Does it not make more sense to build eachother up in our strong moments – instead of finding solace when we’re weak?
Why don’t we celebrate the wins – but measure life in our losses?
Discrepancies
Zoewiezoe 
Of course we must celebrate our wins. But sorrow and compassion is more in our genes. Awakened and fed by the news items we see on television and social media.
We must create our own perfect and happy world I assume. Let’s start!
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So You Ask Why Is It So
Lonely In Heaven These
Days Zoe It’s Like The
Day In Church
Choir So Full of
Joy That A Young
Woman Covered Her
Eyes And Said Oh God
Your Face Is Too Bright
Folks Have Been Begging
me Forever It Seems For
Whatever It Is i Am On
Yet This It’s What It’s like
To Be Born With A Smile
Yep Still
Have A Newborn
Pic Born With A Smile
Of Love For No Other
Dam
Reason
Than A Smile
Feels Good So Why
Does Misery Love
Company So Much
And The Happy One
With The Most Energy
Naturally Ends Up Alone
Folks Bond
Best With
Those Who
Share Their
Feelings Most
Of Course i Came to
Understand Why too
As i’ve Been To The Polar
Opposite Place The Place
Of Hell Within Too My
Mama’s
SMile Was
So Bright in
Hell i Had to
Cover my Whole
Soul Nothing Hurts
As Much In Hell As
Seeing Heaven All
Around
You
Having
No Way
To Enter
Hint: Lots Of
People LiVE iN
Hell Don’t Let All
The Winning And
Fancy This And That
Fool Ya All The Instagram
Beautiful Butt Pics This
Heaven
Game
Is Naked
And All Based
Within You Are
Also One Of Those
Kids In The Movie
About The Strange
Ones You Get To Stay
Too And Wonder Why
Others Don’t Get to Come…
We’ve Come To Believe
That Heaven is What We
Compete For
Win
-n-
Buy
Nope
It’s Naked
Cooperative And Free
Best in Flow With No ‘Reasons’
Love Your Heaven Dear Lots
More Fun Than Hearing
About
Your
Hell Yet i’m
Glad i Got
To Go To Hell
Too As i Still Get to Care
About People Who Stay
There
Too
How Impoverished
i Would Be Without
Being Devil 😈 Too…
Look At This Way
All That
Makes
You Truly
Happy Is Love
Isn’t This True
This Is Why People
Are So Sad/Empty/Never
Enough They Don’t Feel/
Have Love’s Energy
It’s
This God
Damn Simple…
Love Is on A Death Bed
Their ‘True Force’ Is Weak
Sunshine Within Gone Dark…
As Far
Down
As
BLaCK
Hole Sun Abyss…
Other Than That Apathy…
Anxiety… Mixed With
Misery
Loves
Company
As Only Relief
Yawn… First
World Last Problems🌎
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Haha, controversial. Don’t ask me! I’ve been wondering the same thing. Although, here’s a thing I’m quite satisfied about— on my own blog there hasn’t been such a discrepancy. Maybe I have better followers? 😜
I really relate, though. I love seeing others’ successes, whether close friends or strangers. What matters is the health of everyone as a whole. Other people’s health is your health, because it’s only a net gain, there’s no loss to yourself. But this absolute kind of perspective has always been natural to me, I’ve never compared myself to others, even at school. And I’ve always felt like a complete fucking alien 😆😆😆. You know the people I most closely relate to? Wise older women! Churchgoing grandmas, they just get it!!
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I’ve noticed my more socially “taboo” subjects get a cold response and I guess because people don’t know what to say. I’m quite cut throat at times and writings about suicide can render you blanked by WordPress… Hmm, think a bit of editing is in order!! But yes, I totally agree with your observations.
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42 is the answer.
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I think you are right about people getting jealous of other people’s blessings. We need to be thankful that something good is happening to them.
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I agree with your writings/thoughts and I have no answer. Jealousy comes to mind but I don’t want to believe that!
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Love this post… I too post overly wordy blogs (and also write peaceful poems).
I’ve noticed the quandary you’re talking about. I think we’re conditioned into it by society and schooling: we’re raised with a scarcity mindset where competition rules, it tells us there’s not enough for everyone, so rather than celebrate another’s wins we tend to see it as a reflection of our own failings.
I also think we can unpick it and challenge this type of thinking. Believe it or not, social media and blogging has helped me with this. I see writers like me trying to make their mark and I want to support their successes because I get how much it means to them, it means the same to me.
I hope the tide is turning, empathy and compassion seem to be the buzz words at the moment, let’s hope it can extend into trying to raise each other up.
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With buzz words like that…here’s hoping!
Cheers!
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Excellent point you’ve raised. We have a terrible addiction as a species to constantly attempt to extract the’I’ from experience. For man seems to be unable to live without myth, without the belief that the routine and drudgery, the pain and fear of this life have some meaning and goal in the future. At once new myths come into being – political and economic myths with extravagant promises of the best of futures in the present world. These myths give the individual a certain sense of meaning by making him part of a vast social effort, in which he loses something of his own emptiness and loneliness. Yet the very violence of these political religions betrays the anxiety beneath them – for they are but men huddling together and shouting to give themselves courage in the dark. No amount of anxiety will have any effect on what will happen. To hold your breath is to lose your breath.
You’re judged on the material possessions you own, that are in turn a measure of your success. What you own, ends up owning you. Buying things to impress the people that you don’t like.
The rat race is real. The irony of the naming of this phrase I find quite amusing. Rats have no regard for authority or following any orders and they have sex around 50 times a day. If this was part of the rat race, I’d be happy to take part
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Omg – that rat race part had me laughing so hard, hahaha. You’re totally right, too.
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To be honest I recognize this in myself.. Lol it’s a hard pill to swallow when you know you do this and you can’t really explain why or deter yourself? Perhaps it’s a survival tactic… Please note I am not extreme though, but I do notice hints of this behaviour in me, my friends… Maybe acknowledging someone’s happiness and success puts our own happiness/success in question? Under a microscope? People are more apt to judge others than to reflect on their own actions… 👏Lots of thinking to do! 🤔
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Thinking is good, awareness is better – and both offer up a basis for change, if needed. Nice going!
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I’m not great at empathy.
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Join the club! 😆
Standard feedback in every performance review convo ever.
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Ha!
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I agree! People like to leave a word of advice and feel like they are “helping” But if you seem happy and in love and things are going right, well then they feel like you don’t need them to say anything. Weird
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Yes, just what I was thinking. If someone’s happy, they don’t need you to reach out, although after reading this post I might have to reconsider that position. I guess it couldn’t hurt to say, glad everything is good with you 🙂
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Me too🤣🤣🤣
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Right?
Not that I’d need the acknowledgement or approval but the lack of it is still puzzling!
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People like drama, controversy, trauma…love, joy, success ~ meh! Why is that? I wonder if we’re wired to scan for the negative, maybe a survival technique? I mean the things that bubble up in my mind are often fear, regret, frustration, envy, anger, and so on. I’m trying meditation, we’ll see if it helps, C
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Lemme know if it does! That would be awesome!
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The dark side of me finds other people’s misery quite funny. 😉
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Schadenfreude lover in da house!
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I’m not quite sure about this. When I think about my own reactions, well, I love to share joy, to congratulate, but yes, I feel less inclined to ‘help’ by sharing my own similar stories. Whereas when someone is in pain, I tend to overdo the helping by showing I’m trying to think of solutions (hmm by coincidence this seems related to my blogpost of today) or ‘you are not alone’ stories…
But my personal experience is more like this: when you’re having success, you have many friends, but when you’re down and having setbacks, it seems to get quiet…. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging, to have myself to talk to 🙄🙃😇
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Oh, that is the other way around indeed!
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This made me think! I often find myself relating to pain than joys of people. It’s a odd one, it should be the other way round – celebrating moments of joys. I don’t know🙃
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Probably makes you human! 🤭
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This is an interesting thought… I hadn’t considered this before. We are a pessimistic breed aren’t we? lol
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Or are we bred to be pessimistic…hmmmm
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I think it’s the in built survival instinct.
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