‘No’ goes a long way.

Work. Is. Crazy. This week. Well. This month. Well. This year so far.
Where normally I’d be working on one or two big bids simultaneously at most – I’m currently engaged in 5(!!) and it is taking a damn toll on my mental sanity, I feel like. Mostly because, when compared to ‘normal’…I’m doing the work of three people, all by my lonesome.

It’s moments like these…when the evening hours and weekends are no longer sacred moments of freedom, but extra opportunities for work – that I fear falling into a trap of ‘giving too much’ for too little reward. You see, the thing about working really really really hard is that people will generally treat it like it’s normal, unless you get some amazing rave results. So the more you work, the more you pile on, the more you do? The more people will start expecting you to pull that weight from there on out. There’s no winning. You never get the full appreciation for super-power-induced-performance. It’s shrugged off way too often.

I’ve often joked to people that I usually work at only 30% of my actual capabilities, because if I’d give a 100% people would get scared or lose their jobs for not meeting my insane standards. Now, that’s an overly dramatic statement (cause I’m an overly dramatic person), but at the core of it…it’s kinda true. Usually I do tone myself down, a lot.

I take on less work than I probably could, but not because I’m lazy or don’t wanna do more – but because I want to do all of the things I do to the best of my ability. And now I’m getting into a situation where I have SO much work – that I can still (very barely) manage to do it all, but it’s never more than ‘just finishing’ the work because it HAS to be done. There’s no shine on it. No polishing. No added eye for detail or pretty little garnishings. It’s the work. Period.

And when you’re in a field of professionals that ALL know how to do their job, and do it well – just barely scraping the barrel isn’t what you want to be doing. You NEED that bit of ‘extra’ to draw in the wins we so sorely want within the company. So even though I’m still managing – I’m not happy with the things I’m doing. Which is why, before I ACTUALLY overload, I’m already taking steps to make sure that I can put quality over quantity.

You see, there’s a choice that we all have when it comes to moments like these. I could stumble on. Shoulder the weight and hope I come out on the other end of the overflow without a burnout and a couple of wins to boot. OR I could have the harder conversation to scale down in some areas, so I can excel in others. And though I’m often a very conflict-avoiding type: it’s in moments like these that I do NOT shun tough calls. Which is why I’m both successful, and appreciated in my line of work, so far. I hope. Think. Wish.

But…
The point I’m really trying to make, at least at a professional level is this:
Do NOT be afraid to draw a line in the sand and make your limits visible. Do NOT be afraid to say no. No, even though it’s such a hard thing to say, WILL make you better in the long run. And where you WILL be forgiven for a no – you might not be so easily forgiven for a yes-that-failed. Have those hard conversations. Be clear about what you can and can’t do. CHOOSE quality over quantity. And your mental stability over high performance. Always. It pays off in the end.

Just saying.