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Foodie wisdom

Ever since I moved to this middle of nowhere part of the country that I now call home – I’ve had to detox from my previous citylife and endless possibilities of food to order in.

Here, in this godforsaken (although, there’s more churches than bars here, tbh, so how godforsaken can it be..?) the choices are meagre. Or well, non-existent to be more precise. The app that I order food from offers me a grand total of 4 restaurants to pick from. Two of which charge the price of a decent meal to actually come deliver the food (which makes them non-optional) and two of which are pretty much the exact same restaurant, just a different name (and owner, I presume).

That, my friends, is pretty much hell to someone as unaddicted to cooking, and addicted to ordering food as moi. But I manage.

It DOES however, make it a hell of a lot easier to ‘decide’ on what to eat when there’s people coming over and we’re ordering in. I mean – it’s no either/or kinda deals. It’s just ‘we’re ordering here, what do you want?’. Easy as pie! Although, sadly, they don’t actually have pie. Sob.
So in the ‘picking a place to eat’-realm of things, I’ve been spoiled this past year. 0 choosey drama.
No discussions that go like this:

1: ‘What do you wanna eat tonight?’
2: ‘I don’t know.’
1: ‘Just tell me what you feel like having then..?’
2: ‘I don’t care, anything is fine.’
1: ‘Oh, ok. Let’s do xxx then.’
2: ‘No, I don’t want xxx.’

I’ve never been a picky eater to be honest. As long as it doesn’t actually still look like the poor creature it once was, or has the texture of chewing rubber (eg. Mushrooms and calamaris and the like) or burn the tastebuds off of your tongue with its hotness, I’m good. But actually deciding on a restaurant when promted? Not my forte.

So when I found myself on someone’s couch in a new city these past two weekends – presented with an array of 73 (!!) options to choose from – I naturally panicked. Until my brain kicked back in and I fell back on a trusty method that I once learned from an ex. One that might save lives. Or at least, relationships, when used correctly. And with that knowledge, naturally came my need to share it with all of you. Sharing is caring, after all.

So let me teach you the infallible 5-3-1 method of food pickery. Rejoice in the added happiness this lifehack might bring you.

Step 1: You are presented with the tough choice of picking dinner.
Step 2: You make a selection of 5 different restaurant (or food) options and present this to le other party
Step 3: Your (possibly better?) other half picks three options out of this list of 5 of where they wouldn’t mind eating.
Step 4: You pick  the final option from this list of three.
Step 5: Order le food
Step 6: Enjoy le food
Step 7: Next time you’re ordering, switch!

This way, both of you get input in the selection process and the chances of bashing eachothers skulls in decrease dramatically. Plus – there’s food involved. Winwinwinwinwin!

Now, go forth and order all of the food without hassle!
You’re welcome!

33 thoughts on “Foodie wisdom

  1. Ordering food is so convenient, especially if you know what you want to have. When you cook, you are more likely to have better tasting left overs than ordered food. Choosing between cooking and ordering in may be difficult. I love the system you suggested for ordering.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hahaha Make the oven your best friend! make meals in 30 minutes or less! People share easy recipes. I don’t like cooking but the left overs the next day are great! I don’t have to call anyone to order. You can do it, I promise.


  2. Great post. It reminded me of how I can’t stand it when I would ask people what they wanted to eat and they’d say, “Oh, I don’t care, whatever,” so then one day I just started getting them “whatever.” I wasn’t going to spend time trying to get it out of them. So my wife’s mom would come over and I’d say, “I’m getting food from [place]. What do you want?” She’d say, “Oh I don’t care, whatever.” So I just grabbed my keys and started heading out the door. My wife would have to intervene and say, “Mom! NO! Tell him something or he really will get you some random gross thing! TELL HIM!” So yeah, that helped put an end to that fiasco.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No need to be sorry 🙈
      They call it Schadenfreude (German) and leedvermaak (Dutch) for a reason: laughing at anothers pain is the best type of laughter, they say around here 😈

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh good!!!
        whoa.,.. and those names are etched in my memory…. lol. I can’t say them let alone remember them. maybe you can get the local neighbors to start a dinner club… but then who would eat someone elses food and where would you eat. 🤣😜


  3. I love that line you wrote that you don’t want to eat anything that looks like the poor creature it once was ! haha I can relate, I was a very, very young adult and ordered fish and they put the fish on the plate, with tail, fins, eyes the whole bit. I covered him, or her, with a napkin and just ate my salad. lol

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That sucks. There’s an 80s action movie called “Demolition Man” that predicted a ton of stuff accurately, but one thing they got wrong was predicting that Taco Bell would entirely take over the restaurant industry.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Great idea! Lol my husband is indecisive so I will try this on him when we start to order in again (without the fear of catching covid somehow along the way from the cook to the driver, to the food containers) LOL, what have our lives come to???

    Liked by 1 person

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