Foodie wisdom

Ever since I moved to this middle of nowhere part of the country that I now call home – I’ve had to detox from my previous citylife and endless possibilities of food to order in.

Here, in this godforsaken (although, there’s more churches than bars here, tbh, so how godforsaken can it be..?) the choices are meagre. Or well, non-existent to be more precise. The app that I order food from offers me a grand total of 4 restaurants to pick from. Two of which charge the price of a decent meal to actually come deliver the food (which makes them non-optional) and two of which are pretty much the exact same restaurant, just a different name (and owner, I presume).

That, my friends, is pretty much hell to someone as unaddicted to cooking, and addicted to ordering food as moi. But I manage.

It DOES however, make it a hell of a lot easier to ‘decide’ on what to eat when there’s people coming over and we’re ordering in. I mean – it’s no either/or kinda deals. It’s just ‘we’re ordering here, what do you want?’. Easy as pie! Although, sadly, they don’t actually have pie. Sob.
So in the ‘picking a place to eat’-realm of things, I’ve been spoiled this past year. 0 choosey drama.
No discussions that go like this:

1: ‘What do you wanna eat tonight?’
2: ‘I don’t know.’
1: ‘Just tell me what you feel like having then..?’
2: ‘I don’t care, anything is fine.’
1: ‘Oh, ok. Let’s do xxx then.’
2: ‘No, I don’t want xxx.’
1: -EXPLODES-

I’ve never been a picky eater to be honest. As long as it doesn’t actually still look like the poor creature it once was, or has the texture of chewing rubber (eg. Mushrooms and calamaris and the like) or burn the tastebuds off of your tongue with its hotness, I’m good. But actually deciding on a restaurant when promted? Not my forte.

So when I found myself on someone’s couch in a new city these past two weekends – presented with an array of 73 (!!) options to choose from – I naturally panicked. Until my brain kicked back in and I fell back on a trusty method that I once learned from an ex. One that might save lives. Or at least, relationships, when used correctly. And with that knowledge, naturally came my need to share it with all of you. Sharing is caring, after all.

So let me teach you the infallible 5-3-1 method of food pickery. Rejoice in the added happiness this lifehack might bring you.

Step 1: You are presented with the tough choice of picking dinner.
Step 2: You make a selection of 5 different restaurant (or food) options and present this to le other party
Step 3: Your (possibly better?) other half picks three options out of this list of 5 of where they wouldn’t mind eating.
Step 4: You pick  the final option from this list of three.
Step 5: Order le food
Step 6: Enjoy le food
Step 7: Next time you’re ordering, switch!

This way, both of you get input in the selection process and the chances of bashing eachothers skulls in decrease dramatically. Plus – there’s food involved. Winwinwinwinwin!

Now, go forth and order all of the food without hassle!
You’re welcome!