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Tinder Tales – But what does it MEAN?!

The world of online dating is one of repetition. Something which I find HIGHLY aggravating.

(Even though I KNOW that I can’t particularly take it out on all the guys asking me all the same questions because I TOO realize that they often cover the basics you DO need to know about a new person. I do. I still fucking hate it though.).

Take for instance the 1000-a-week ‘How was your day so far?’-s. Or the ‘So, do you have anything planned for tonight? The weekend? Next century?‘. Even worse: the ‘How can someone like you still be single?‘ questions. Or the more detailed ‘How long have you been single for?‘ or ‘been on this app long?‘ queries. I get that you might feel the need to determine how much of a well-seasoned (or the very unkind Dutch version: ‘afgelikte boterham‘) and possibly-psycho middle-aged woman I am, but it’s so irrelevant imho. Plus – asking me how many guys I banged is way more effective if that’s really of a determining interest to you, instead of treading carefully around that topic. So damn generic and ultimately tiring if you’re answering the same thing to a line-up of fellas (and then have to remember who you said what to).

But alas – there is no way to get around the fact that every new person has the same sort of checklist and basic questions that they’re used to using and getting out of the way. Fact of life.

But there’s one question in there that I despise a tad more than the others: The idiotic question into the ‘meaning of my name‘. It almost inevitably happens. Most guys I speak to WILL at some point comment on my name. Unique and all that, I gettit. There’s a hyphen in there…SHOCKING. Which is fine. FINE. I understand, you’ve never seen the name before. It looks weird. It’s two parts. Sure, ask me about it.

AFTER asking me HOW my parents managed to find this deluded combo of names (and I inevitably tell them the story of how my mom and grandma were too stubborn to let their selections go, so they opted on sticking ’em together after (thank god) ruling out my dad with his ‘Esmeralda‘ suggestion) there’s the inevitable follow-up: What does your name mean?!

Who. Friggin. Cares.

Sure, my mad Google skills can teach me that ZoΓ« is usually derived from old Greek Zoos and hence means life. But I can tell you for damn sure that that is knowledge that my parents did not have NOR bothered to look up. It was selected for sounding pretty. Or because it reminded them of that one girl in band camp a decade ago or some other arbitrary idiotic reason. And Amber, outside of being a silly sort of gemstone formed from resin and apparently also meaning ‘Sunlight‘ is not a way of combining the two into the lovely possible meaning ‘Sunlight of my life‘. It just isn’t. I could tell you that it is, but then – WHY WOULD I.
Would it enrich your life? Does it genuinely interest you? WHY WHY WHY.

Men of the world – just like you all hate girls who are heavily into astrology and build entire relationships built on their libra matching a zebra – I do NOT need to know how our names would combine into a lovely PG baby-combo. I just don’t. Find me something else to ask. ANYTHING. REALLY. I’ll even take the wrung out weekend question over it, any day.


Up for some more Tinder Tales?
Keep reading:

Tinder Tales – Picture Perfect
Tinder Tales – Virtually Unique
Tinder Tales – Why ARE we here?
Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!

Tinder Tales – Anal.
Tinder Tales – Picky

Tinder Tales – But what does it mean?!
Tinder Tales – The curious case of the neckbeard

32 thoughts on “Tinder Tales – But what does it MEAN?!

  1. Holy smokes! Thank goodness I’m not online dating because the repetitive questioning from multiple people would make me crazy! Lol, I’m more interested in what your PokemonGo name means. Good luck with the dating! πŸ€—

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Hahaha – the Pokemon Go name has been my gamertag since my very first MMORPG. The randomizer named me Malinqa, which my guild shortened to Linqy. Ever since that I always call every character in any game that XD

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hahaha this post made me laugh, so relatable. Those stupid questions really annoy me too. Ask me what I think about climate change or ask me something about space. Don’t ask me what my name means or how long I have been on tinder for. Those dead conversations really annoy me!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Woodsy comes from the galactic plankton clouds, who used to roll from world to world on driftwood ships, fashioned into spears, conquering nation after nation,
    planet after planet,
    and forcing them all to wear fluffy bobble hats made out of cheese.

    It’s a difficult cosmic statement to weave into a conversation.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. For the record, I believe Esmeralda (which is not that unmcommon where I am, a part of the US with a lot of Spanish speakers) is Spanish for emerald, so that fits the Amber gemstone theme… I’m not helping, am I.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. SMiLes Just
    Glad i’m
    From A Human
    Place Avatar
    One Big
    i used when
    i Could No Longer
    Do Face to
    Face… Avatar
    It’s What
    From the
    Others And
    Where i Live
    Now That’s Effective🀯

    Liked by 1 person

  6. To be fair, when I saw your writing ability, mastery of English and the fact that you’re a female IT worker (so clearly an advanced brain), in combination with what appears to be an attractive face, I myself wondered why you’re single. Shit girl, if you were gay and I ran across your profile I would have ran that line by you. Ha. I guess it’s a matter of whether or not they come across as sincere or whether it sounds like a cheesy come on. Which I guess if you saw it every day it would get old. Now I will say – a few months back when I had a profile up – when the girls asked “how long have you been single” (because girls ask many of the same questions) – it used to drive me nuts. WELL, I had an experience which gives me insight as to why people ask this. Some girl went on 2 dates with me and it turned out she was on a “break” with her girlfriend and I was her rebound project that she was keeping in the hallway in case her ex and her “really” broke up for good, in which case I was sloppy seconds. Now the question no longer annoys me. They want to make sure you are not using them for a rebound. That you’re serious and available. In my case, being single for 10 years is an asset there. I did give the guys a go on these sites since I’m 25% straight. It was amazing to see how the guys were so much more likely to be crude right off the bat. I sympathize with your having to deal with that. But as people are individuals some guys are polite and serious, and I do suspect the how long have you been single question is someone digging for level of seriousness in you. Wow! This comment is friggin long that I should just do a post on this topic! Ha!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. This might be the best fucking reply on this blog ever XD
      Thanks for the hilarious compliment!

      And I suppose on a more rational level that I DO get entirely what you’re saying but meh. Just meh. I just feel that if the chemistry is there. If the match is genuine. If the sparks fly – it doesn’t (or shouldnt) matter if you’re fresh off the horse, never touched or relationally challenged. It shouldn’t even be a thing to consider :X

      Liked by 2 people

  7. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ Too funny. Sorry, I know it is absolutely serious to you, and I get how much you hate all of that, but it is funny too. You know it is. They ask that because they don’t know what else to say, I think, which doesn’t say a lot about them. Tell them to google it. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is awesome, thanks! I am recently single, but 3+ years ago I had years of online dating experience. Now I am rusty, and don’t feel the need to get started again.. But I am dreading the fact that I might have to get back on Tinder.. Oh God I hated Tinder… Such a waste of time if you ask me! But some people do meet their future husband/wives there so there’s that…. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

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