Opposite Utility

The knife-block in my kitchen has a ‘bad‘ knife in it. Something I regularly find out when I end up trying to staunch the bleeding from the umpteenth cut it’s cost me. Stupid knife.

I’m not saying that it’s bad in a badboy kinda way, obviously. It doesn’t drive a motorcycle without a helmet, or takes lollipops from children and it doesn’t wear denim on denim. It’s not that kind of bad (most knives aren’t, I think). But it’s bad none the less.

I present thee the evidence:

Evil knife on the right – obviously

You see – I was preparing a pasta just now (yes, I cook in the middle of the day or else I end up too lazy to do it at all). And while I was chopping up a boatload of garlic (and I mean, a lot of it – I multiply every recipe garlic suggestion by 5) – I put my hand over the top of it to do that fancy dicing motion all those Japanese chefs have down to a tee. Et voila. Fresh new cut in my poor innocent hand. Because this knife, yo – this knife IS BAD. The cutting edge is on the exact opposite side of EVERY OTHER KNIFE I OWN!
Which means more often than not that I pick it up wrong, or make this mistake, or find other ways to unsuspectingly get reminded of the fact that this knife is bad. By cutting myself on the sharp edge, assuming it’s the dull part.

The thing is though – as I realized while I was holding my hand under the faucet in an attempt to staunch the bleeding – I fear that I am looking at the knife in entirely the wrong way. Just as I often look at people around me the wrong way. And they look at me wrong, just the same (analogy incoming).

Because objectively looking at it – there is nothing wrong with that knife. That knife is just the way it’s always been. The way it’s been designed. They way it was meant to be. It’s just what it is. It’s its perfect knifey self.
It’s just that my perception of who I feel that knife SHOULD be is wrong. And my way of handling said knife, is incorrect. And my calling the knife ‘bad‘ is uncalled for, just because I’m bad with knives.

Calling that knife bad suggests that I feel that the knife SHOULD change to better suit my needs (which I do feel, honestly). That it should be what I WANT it to be, instead of what it is for the mere reason that I say so. And that? That’s pretty much insane. Because no matter how I FEEL about that knife and it’s qualities – it’s never going to change because of my feelings. Mostly because it literally can’t, but honestly, if judging it fairly, also because it shouldn’t.

It’s just like with people, really.
And there’s definitely a motivational message in that analogy.

Because no matter how much you feel like you should change to better suit the people around you. No matter how much you can feel useless because they don’t see your potential or don’t know how to bring out your strengths. And just because you might unknowingly hurt them just by being who you are – doesn’t mean YOU are the one that’s built wrong. They just need to get their act together and see you for what you are. Just the way you were meant to be.

A wonky kitchen knife.