Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!

These days I’m taking a very business-like approach to online dating. Currently, to me, it’s much like household-work, or administrative work or obligatory family visits. A chore. Something that has to be done. A box to tick on the to-do list of the day. ‘Swipe right on (at least) three guys‘.

And I do that just for the sake of swiping, not because I’m actually expecting (or hoping) that something comes out of it. Can’t even honestly say I am having any fun doing it. Those apps hate me as much as I hate them. I even downgraded from ‘get one match a day‘ to the swipe deal for the simple fact that I don’t….yaknow….get matches that easily. Keeping up that bargain would mean a LOT of hours swiping. Painful (because being a girl is supposed to be like playing Tinder on easy mode, they say)!

I call this approach business-like because, in the world of online dating, much like in the professional world, visibility and actuality is vitally important to your success. If you don’t update your LinkedIn and resume regularly (like seriously, every six months or so, EVEN if you’re happy where you’re at) or don’t make sure that your different media are linked correctly – you’re going to be out in the cold when the day comes around that you need to be found by that fancy new employer. And the same, as I figure, goes for ‘that special someone‘.

I might not be looking as of right now, but if I wanna stand a chance when I finally do get to that point – I gotta have put the work in to be able to make it happen (or at least, that’s how I’m treating it). Especially now with COVID-19 and the ‘putting yourself out there‘ in the real world being placed firmly on hold – THE (only) way to ‘find or be found‘ is there. Online. On the apps of doom.

Apps like Tinder and Bumble and Badoo and OKcupid (I don’t use all of them, don’t worry) all work on the same basic principle: actively using the app = increased frequency of showing up in other peoples line-ups. So your visibility and chances of a match are tightly bound to how often you use the app. Just installing the thing and hoping for the matches to pile up when you casually swipe 5 minutes every other week is NOT the key to Tinderland. So I swipe. Every day. For however long it takes me to swipe right three times (which, with my insane checklists and general pickiness, takes quite a bit of time, actually!). Simply to keep myself ‘relevant‘ to those damn algorithms. Slave to the rhythm.

Because no matter how much you hate or appreciate it: Tinder is THE classic app these days to see and be seen, you know how it goes. It’s not just promenading the boulevard and basketball courts as Will Smith does it anymore, with everyone being a sudden masked ‘risk‘. Ya almost gotta do the online thing if ya wanna get somewhere. Hell. People are (so I’ve been told) even doing their preliminary dating via FaceTime, Skype and Zoom these days. That’s some next level insane shit that I’ve definitely not dared commit to. I’d fall flat on cam, I just know it. Not my style.

So I just swipe. Right. Three times a day. To stay relevant – because with these algorithms forcing you to action – apparently dating these days is becoming an actual side-hustle. An extra job. More goals and deadlines to reach (because god, I’m getting old fast so I best hurry it up, right?). And I DO have to be the best at any job I take, regardless of the damn algorithms. THEY SHALL BE BEATEN!
–Swipeswipeswipe–

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_{Up for some more Tinder Tales?
Keep reading:
Tinder Tales – Picture Perfect
Tinder Tales – Virtually Unique
Tinder Tales – Why ARE we here?
Tinder Tales – Darn those algorithms!
^{Tinder Tales – Anal.
Tinder Tales – Picky
Tinder Tales – But what does it mean?!
Tinder Tales – The curious case of the neckbeard}}