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Personal Blogging – Dirty little secret

It’s only been a month and a half since I (re)booted this blog and got back into the writing game. But boy, does it feel like an eternity already. It’s strange how something ‘new‘ can just settle itself into your life and feel like it’s always had a place there. Which, when it comes to blogging, is kinda true (seeing as I’ve been doing that on and off throughout my entire life). All in all: it’s been awesome, with a growing audience, lovely connections (that I would’ve never made without this blog) and a LOT of words put down to paper.

But with all this writing – there’s also a pinch just below the surface when reflecting on keeping a personal blog and its effects on ones life. That nagging feeling that you’re keeping a dirty little secret. That you’re doing something bad. That you’re a bit weird because you blog.

I first wrote about it a couple of weeks ago.
Personal blogging – A risky business
And since it’s been a pretty constant puzzle ever since – I’ve decided to make that post into a series. A series on the thoughts, dangers and effects of keeping a personal blog. And today – the topic will be judgement, where the first one focused on the beneficial effects.

‘You do what? Blog?’

The thing about blogging is that (most people, anyway) keep a blog in order for their content to be read. If that wasn’t the case – they’d either keep the blog set to private or go back to keeping and old school diary (at least, that would make more sense to me). And once you get into ‘the Blogosphere’ it’s increasingly easy to connect with people that carry a same appreciation for (the art of) blogging as yourself. That doesn’t mean, however, that everyone in your life ‘gets it‘ that same way.

There is those who find out you blog (whether it’s because someone/you mention it while in a conversation, or they bump into a posting somewhere, or whether they say something snarky about something unrelated and end up bashing on blogs in general) and hate it. Or don’t get it. Or feel the need to judge you for it. Out loud. Those casual, almost flippant comments always seem to catch me off guard.

Those conversations usually wind up with questions as to why I would do such a thing. What I get from it. Or dwindle into awkward silences (the Tinder effect, when you drop that knowledge into a conversation and they just go ‘poof‘).

They’re often from the people who think blogging is kind of weird. Or useless. Who see it as the playground for 15 year old beauty bloggers giggling behind their screens with their girlfriends. Or the angsty teens battling all sorts of problems while unable to interact with anyone outside of the virtual realms. Or worse even – ‘kortpittige‘ housewives and grannies keeping themselves busy while bustling through unsatisfactory lives, updating the lines of kids and uninterested family members with unneeded updates on how their day pumpkin picking went.

I, as a blogger, relate to all of these categories. I can smile reading the happenings in the life of that adorable bouncy beauty blogger and appreciate their effort. I can feel my heart bleed (in recognition) for those teenage struggles and deeper pains. And I get that need to be visible that these blogging moms/nans have, because they’re underappreciated, lonely (even in a full household) and just in need of connections other than the every day talk about the kids that takes up their entire daily lives. But I also get how that doesn’t make sense to a lot of other people who never felt the need to put ‘themselves‘ down to paper. It’s something that either suits you, or doesn’t.

But then there’s the occasions when someone you know gets in touch. And they do so not in a good way. Every now and then someone (unexpected) will mention that they read my blog (be it one entry, or a lot of them) with that undertone of ‘what the fuck are you doing with your life‘ and it always leads to pretty much the same reaction on my part.

A small gasp. Immediate fluster. Audible stutter and tenfold increase on awkwardness levels while I ponder what I’ve been posting the last few days and ‘what they might have read about me that is so very HORRENDOUS!‘. Somehow I still get surprised that people actually read along. And then get surprised at how that affects them and how they choose to express it. On how they feel safe to judge because I feel ‘safe’ to share.

It, however, in no way means that those judgments are correct, warranted or need to be expressed. If you don’t understand something, it doesn’t automatically decrease in value. And it (or someone) certainly doesn’t need to be altered to suit your life and standards better. When I blog – I write to be read. But I do so for myself, not for anyone else. And that also, when it comes to blogging, means taking the bad with the good (which is still a LOT ahead of the bad on all fronts).

So keep reading. Or don’t.
As long as it makes you happy, like blogging does me.

Even if you’re lurking. Even if you’re just reading along. Even if you click these links just because the Facebook stories with the blue ‘unwatched’ rings annoy you?
I see you! I welcome you! I know you!
(Not in a ‘scary-hiding-in-the-bushes kinda way)
And you’re appreciated! Regardless of your judgments. Thank you!

PS. Wanna read more about the ins and outs and hows and whys of personal blogging round here? Click on, brave warrior, click on!
* Personal blogging – Risky Business
* Personal blogging – Dirty little secret
* Personal blogging – To be recognisable or to be unique?
* Personal blogging – Out for the count

* Personal blogging – Listless
* Personal blogging – The science of stars
* Personal blogging – The personal touch
* Personal blogging – The Voice

* Personal blogging – Patterns
* Personal blogging – Art of repetition
* Personal blogging – Choices

50 thoughts on “Personal Blogging – Dirty little secret

  1. Tbh, ik vind het een leuke manier om op de hoogte te blijven (sort of) van hoe het met je gaat. Niet alleen door wat je schrijft maar ook hoe je het schrijft. Er sijpelt best veel door. En dat is grappig. Je vorige writings spraken mij meer aan, maar dat was meer topic gerelateerd dan om hoe je schrijft, want dat is nog steeds fucking awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Like one of your previous posts, Writing to a Rhythm, I could relate so much to this. It felt even more personal when you added the angsty teenager part. “But I do so for myself, not for anyone else.” This is all I needed to hear today! Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your posts as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t have Facebook or any other media outlets, but I do have wordpress, i like to get my thoughts out of my head and into the world, then theres the people like you, your blog posts are the gold amongst the coal, the special way you have of reaching out to people is amazingly beautiful, thank you so very much for everything you do.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hahaha!

    Those harsh comments by people who feel they must judge another person… I think they’re not in touch with themselves and are afraid of what others might think of them (when tey would express their inner wants and thoughts the way you do, so beautifully)

    I think the key is (their own): unsatisfactory lives!
    When you’re completely at ease with yourself and your choices, and even if you don’t like blogs in general or yours in particular, it shouldn’t bother you. But apparently it does …

    I think they are just jealous of your EXTRA-‘ordinary’ life! πŸ˜‰

    And rightfully so: you live an exceptional life. You make your own choices, as te unique woman you are. And part of that is thinking and feeling deeply about (even the ordinary) aspects of life. In sharing this with us, you enlighten our days and – at the same time – give room to express the artist (of ‘the word’ and of ‘meaningful life’) within you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have been blogging now for 1.5 years and I love it. It helps me and keeps and it is a bonus when some others get inspired or helped in some way.

    Luckily in my family and friends circle all are happy about it. In fact my son had suggested that I should start to blog 😊

    All the best to you 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I used to get the same reactions when I mentioned having a blog. Now I specify that it’s a photoblog and the reactions are better. Somehow, that seems more acceptable. I don’t know if it works for other genres (e.g., cooking blog, career advice blog, etc.)


    1. Yeah – I think that blogs within certain categories like art, photography and poetry etc. Or the review/bookblogs have it ‘easier’ judgment wise. Those are more readily accepted and understood I think. Oh well. Personal has always been (and will always be) my preferred niche

      Liked by 2 people

  7. I personally have been blogging on going on 20 years.

    In the early days, it was an attempt to capture sense of the community of writers I had in the late 80s, a high school program for aspiring writers. We spent two hours a day in that class, writing and sharing our works. Some of us were poets, some wrote fiction. In the mid-90s, I had been somewhat successful at eliminating the “slam” competition elements in a coffee-house writing performance night on the West Coast, but lost that when I moved back home.

    I saw the internet as a way to connect across the world ideas and share writing, whatever the subject, and for recreating that same sense. I always seemed to attract the wrong crowd, so I gave it a rest until recently (at the beginning of Covid-19), after discovering that Facebook is really not the place for long-form writing and started up my newest incarnation.

    You’re right, many people don’t thing of blogging as serious writing and, when they discover something they like, they assume you are somehow trying to monetize your site — which still implies you aren’t serious. And when they find out you aren’t monetizing or trying to play the popularity game, they shuffle you off into the box of “useful idiot”.

    My personal reasons are that my writing is completely useless in a notebook on on a storage device. If someone can read something I write and it impacts them, if only to help them decide they want to avoid emulating anything in my style, that’s better that hiding it in the shadows.

    I’ve read a couple of weeks of posts and I like what I see. I look forward to reading what you write in the future. Keep it from the heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Blogging is kind of a hobby except for the few who make money at it. I don’t feel any need to justify it as others feel no need to justify their hobbies to me. If someone doesn’t like it, ask them about their stupid hobbies. You can laugh make fun of them (nicely). πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Zoe,

    Ik hou van je schrijfstijl (Nld of Eng) je geweldig gevoel voor humor en je relativeert jezelf stevig.
    Je schrijft idd voor jezelf maar ik ben een trouwe lezer, zonder te oordelen.
    Blijf die gedachten/hersenspinsels maar neerschrijven !
    Ik wacht met ongeduld op het volgende πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Well, since you’ve probably noticed all my comments, needless to say I like reading your blog… I can hardly imagine anyone being judgemental about it. And even if so, who cares? (My friend and I tend to respond with a cynical: Nee, JIJ bent gaaf…, when people are being β€˜stuurlui aan wal’) My own writings are meant to help myself in some way, even about silly topics, and I also wonder sometimes how far I should go, even when writing under a pseudonym. But, I hardly have followers and readers (writing in Dutch doesn’t help either), so it doesn’t really matter. What sometimes bugs me (and hurts a teeny bit) is that not many of my friends are interested in my blog, but well, that means no judgement whatsoever…πŸ˜‚
    Thanks for sharing a piece of you!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Seems to me, everywhere I go, I meet some kind of judgement or tacit assessment I didn’t ask for – usually wrong.

    But these days, I tend to just take thise encounters as confirmation tha I’m in the wrong place…

    which I usually am.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’ve just stated this blog because I feel like I needed to get my thoughts out into the atmospheres. And yeah people are going to judge but you have to remember that there will be more people who enjoy you.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’ve just returned to blogging…fourth one. It’s taken this long to find the balance between what I wanted to say/do and how much time I can put into it. I’ve had social media burnout before and I think that in the end, you have to go with what feels right to you and hope that someone else feels the same. I look forward to checking out your site.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Order means nothing in my world, so I doubt that would’ve made a smidge of difference!

      Glad you managed to plow through em AND still come up with something positive to say 🀣πŸ₯³



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